Supportive Home birth husband
“My husband and I would love to have a home birth but we’re both a little nervous about it. What happens if I need help during the delivery? He may not know what to do.”
Most partners do not know what to do or what to expect entirely during birth. In all likelihood your husband does not have a lot of experience with birth, which could be because of gender roles. Or because most people (men or women) don’t attend a birth before they have a baby of their own. Or because Hollywood’s water-breaking, hyper-fast, screaming-mama birth storyline is about as based in fact as The Never-ending Story (I showed my age there didn’t I?). Or because there is a myth in the US that birth is an unnatural thing that women’s bodies are not fully capable of, but actually a medical emergency. All of this adds up to uncertainty and uncertainty can breed fear. For you husband, or any partner, not knowing instinctually what to do does not dismiss the importance of becoming an informed partner.
I believe that the three best ways to learn about birth are:
#1 Childbirth Education Classes
Childbirth education classes NOT offered at the local hospital. To be clear, hospital hosted/led childbirth education classes are a marketing program. The teachers are representatives of the hospital and are going to tell you what they (the hospital) want you to know and understand about birth, and omit what they don’t want you to know.
One of our favorite Central Oregon childbirth workshop is led by our fellow doula, Dakota Dawson, a doula with 13 years experience and nearly 500 births attended. Her six session class covers the stages of birth, comfort measures, medical interventions, newborn care, postpartum recovery, and breastfeeding. Link to her upcoming workshops: https://www.bendbabi.com/workshops
#2 Read Books
Stay away from Dr. Google, do not believe every birth story you hear, and take blogs and social media posts with a grain of salt and some common sense (including this one!). Why? Because anyone can post or blog and they can spew very convincing nonsense and false information. Published books are generally more vetted and fact checked because publishers and/or authors expose themselves to potential legal liability.
LINK TO BEND BIRTH AND BABY’S FAVORITE BIRTH BOOKS
#3 Prioritize building a strong birth team who can help both you and your husband.
Birth is made up of stages of labor. The longest stage of labor is early and active labor when your cervix is changing. Help during this stage looks like physical and emotional support to keep you as comfortable and relaxed as possible. A birth doula or experienced friend/family member who has been at births can help your husband provide support during this stage.
During a home birth your midwife team will be there for the end of the labor stage, the birth of your baby and placenta, and a few hours postpartum to provide any help you may need and to monitor for complications. If any complications arise that require a transfer to a hospital, they facilitate that transfer.